My world is my mind

Paradox

2012-01-13T20:32:00.000-08:00

That´s a word i don´t use very often. But whenever i do, it´s usually for something really really ironic.

It´s definitely not a paradox i write every 30 days or so, it´s just me being lazy....

But only geniuses know not everyday is the right day for a mind blowing event (yeah, right).

To me a paradox is the fact i´ve been meeting a lot of people these days, the majority of them have one thing in common: Relationship status, single people. But it also has come to my understanding that many of those other people, the committed ones, are NOT happy in their relationships. Why bother suffering when you know you are better off alone?

"On a scale of 1 to "Forever alone", how forever alone are you?" Good question Twitter. Rather keep the answer to myself. (Yes, that´s how forever alone i am). Sadly, many of us would rather answer the question and meet someone who we can share our everyday-events with. And it´s possible, but why settle? Have you found what you are looking for? The person who can match up with all the qualities wanted?

I guess relationships get wick with time. You learn things from the other person, things you don´t really like and things that can make you fall in love faster. But what happens when you realize this is not the person you wanted him/her to be? That mental image you created in your head just because it fits physically with his/her looks?

I wander around everyday looking at mans faces and think "Can he be the one? Jesus, he´s not very cute so he´s probably NOT". Yes, i´m a little picky but i have standards. And for the most part, most guys i meet don´t tend to fulfill them. So should i bother on keep on looking? Is it worth my time? Or should i settle and find out how that "not very handsome" guy can have a great heart?

Looks isn´t everything.! Yes, a phrase only Barbie can use these days. Have you ever been on a cripple relationship? I´m not talking about dating someone on a wheelchair, but trying to make a commitment work when you know the one thing you need is to run away from it? It´s sad. I don´t understand how people can fool themselves thinking and yet, FAKING they are happy when they are NOT.

Crap, who doesn´t hate to fall in love for someone and then realizing he´s not the great catch your mind made believe he was? Or that maybe that awkward butterflies in your belly were not chemistry but you were actually really horny? Or probably the worst scenario, not being able to tell someone you love him because you actually don´t love him? Ok, please shot me before getting a main character in any of these situations.

Despair, loneliness and sadness can make you do things you will most likely regret. I know we need appreciation and comfort and there is a natural need for communication, i mean who are we lying to? Cats and dogs are not very interested in how our day went or if we got a promotion, even they have a more successful love life. But i repeat to myself everyday, why settle with the first thing on the plate when you can have all the menu? I paradox because FU*K i´m starving.

When you play this song 20 times straight one night you´ll probably need every single item in the menu.

Those Days....

2011-12-15T11:01:00.000-08:00

Oh Lord!

Today is another of one of "those days" when everything that can possibly go wrong...DOES!

And as my biology teacher used to say ( God, how i miss those classes) every process is a part of nature, probably by natural selection, Oh Darwin, do you see how you have screw our lives up?

To say the least, i got hit by two MASSIVE blows.....

That awkward moment when you realize your ex has a girlfriend, and has been able to move on (not that i´m saying that i haven´t, it just takes time and the right person) is actually not awkward, it´s more like painful. Yes, i would never have imagined seeing him that happy without ME. It may sound a little selfish, but i guess i wasn´t ready nor i will ever be.

And every other logical human being would say, "Hey stupid, you let him go, why won´t you let him move on?" but it´s just easy when its written and read. I guess he finally moved on. And I didn´t.

I always thought i would find a perfect relationship like the one we had, but so far no luck. For me at least.

Other bugger is the fact, that his new girl is a complete bitch. And so damn ugly it´s scary. Seriously, she probably belongs to the Cullen Family (yes, those pussy characters from one of my favorite books).

A little resemblance of what they look like together. Who am i kidding?? Helena Boham Carter is gorgeous compared to that disgusting rat. At leas Helena is NOT FAT.

I would be trying to fool you all, by saying i wish them the best. I do wish the best for him, as long as she is NOT in his life. "So simple and you know it is"....Thank you Snow Patrol, while "Just Say Yes" is playing i figured, you can´t rush things, and there are a few other thing you can´t change. Even when you think you can.

But it´s worst than that. Whenever i feel like cutting my veins i always turn to my best friends for comfort. But it seems not only God but Karma is also pissed at me. And so are they. Is probably one of the worst feelings knowing that someone has no interest in informing you about what´s new in their life, when every single and minor detail in your head qualifies for "Shit i must TELL my BFF".

For now, please nomads i would trade your cave for my house. That way i can choke with my feelings, and not make people feel guilty afterwards. Or i could probably choke on food, which is easier but it will make me feel like i gained 30 pounds. Life isn´t easy at all.

Or i´m not ready to grow yet? I´m too used to letting people know everything about my life because i used to do that in school? I mean, a new boyfriend, a job, trying something new, is that not relevant anymore?

Am i stuck in the Stone age? Will dinosaurs be my new "besties"?

I know i usually tend to blow things out of proportion, but this has definitely "rocked" my world. And in an awful kind of way. It´s like feeling like a loser with a ketchup stain on your sweater while you know you have a presentation in front of the guy you like, and the entire office. Familiar with the feeling? Well multiply it for 1000!

Yes, the expression "a rabbit with a tail between the legs" is nothing close compared to what i feel today.

Maybe, and hopefully MAYBE NOT, i´m not that important in their lives as they are in mine.

The thing is that..................

I don´t want to change priorities, i don´t wanna grow, i don´t want to move on and i don´t want to open my eyes, unless this is just a really vivid nightmare.

Obsession.....

2011-11-25T17:58:00.001-08:00

Definitely i have a huge trauma with this song and video!

It´s like it can guess my current relationship status [If you´re the guy who thinks you´re some kind of criminal because you throw trash on the floor or don´t make your bed in the morning, dude YOU ARE NOT! And obviously the song isn´t for you, but still, enjoy]

By the way, she´s like my favorite artist of all times. PERIOD.

Britney Spears. Criminal.

He is a hustler
He's no good at all
He is a loser, he's a bum, bum, bum, bum
He lies, he bluffs
He's unreliable.
He is a sucker with a gun, gun, gun, gun

I know you told me
I should stay away.
I know you said
He's just a dog astray.
He is a bad boy with a tainted heart
And even I know this a'int smart

[Chorus]

But mama im in love with a criminal
And this type of love
Isn't rational, it's physical
Mama please don't cry
I will be alright
All reasons inside
I just cant deny
Love the guy

[Britney Spears - Verse 2]

He is a villain of the devil's law
He is a killer just for fun, fun, fun, fun
That man's a snitch and unpredictable,
He's got no conscious
He got none, none, none, none

All I know, should let go, but no
'cause he's a bad boy with a tainted heart
And even I know this ain't smart

Looking for paradise! (So cliché)

2011-10-26T21:39:00.000-07:00

That´s an anthem shared by the great Alejandro Sanz and the amazing Alicia Keys! (DAMN i LOVE that song) Looking for Paradise - Alicia Keys ft. Alejandro Sanz

It´s just an incredible song that can lite up your life, well it worked for me!

Life has its ups and downs (lately more UPS than downs thankfully) and it´s our mission to focus in those ups that might be getting a job, a promotion, getting engaged (of course meeting the love of your life also counts) or married (that´s NOT happening any time soon for me) or just being HAPPY, ~~plain and simple.~~

Over this week i´ve learned not everything goes your way, you can´t always get what you want whenever you want, or you can´t expect anything from people, but mostly ONLY you can please yourself.

Happiness can only be achieved by you, and it´s not eternal. It just happens, a moment and then it goes away, it slips away. It depends on living with a positive take on things, on getting up in the morning with a smile on your face (despite your problems) just because you´re alive, it´s about appreciating everything: People´s flaws and your own flaws, other weaknesses and yours, family´s care and love and the little details you can provide to people who you love. Good and bad.

I´ve gotten my heart broken multiple times (not that any of you is interested in that) but i can honestly accept i wouldn´t be the person or have the experience i have now, but it´s not enough. Of course, i would wish people never let me down or at least abstain myself from making illusions or get my hopes up too fast. This doesn´t mean i don´t believe in LOVE anymore, yes i still do. And even more than before. Because now, i can understand it. And realize it´s beyond you. It´s just as big as the world.

Now i can see the power of it. Now i get why people use love to get sex or a house or money or anything else and deceive on innocent people.

Because the power of love its so deeply strong it can make you do or say anything. And that´s why you can´t force it.

One phrase full of wisdom i´ve heard and kept on repeating to myself: Time can heal any wound, time can do anything.

Withing time you can experience the magic of falling in love or living the process of forgetting someone and leave everything in the past.

Only friends, family and GOD can make you feel complete. All of these are a part of you, believe it or not.

Falling in love is a journey that can last forever, if you choose the right person, but it´s a true journey when you know happiness is the biggest stop.

By the way, i´m like obsessed with Coldplay´s new song: Paradise! It´s a MUST HEAR

Mixture of rambling....and feelings

2011-09-29T18:05:00.000-07:00

A 30 day-period is what sets the structure for my blog apparently.

Despite the bright sun of the everyday life in my country and the trees in the hills moving along the breeze, this was no regular day. Something, well many things made this day so different.

Today i was shocked (to say the least) by some news that were more than unexpected. But i would also want to dedicate a letter or a few words without some sense, to the biggest obstacle in my life. Despite the fact, he´s the person who´s money and resources have been taking me through my education and life overall, he´s also the biggest flaw in me. My worst weakness. Therefore, i´d like to say something....that goes likes these (nope, it´s not a song).

I´m sorry i´m not the perfect child you wanted, nor the boy whom you could share your passion for cars and motorcycles.
I´m sorry i´m not interested in your profession nor your work and probably won´t ever be.
I´m sorry i don´t say it out loud how much i care about you and how much i love when sometimes all i think about is when you are really gone and what would happen.
I´m sorry i´m not the biggest brain in the family or that i haven´t achieved those golds you talk about your friends kids.
I´m sorry i´m not close enough to your family or that sometimes i don´t feel like going to their celebrations because hypocrisy is the main course of the events.
I´m sorry i´m not fast or smart enough as you, and sometimes you have to repeat the indications twice so i can understand.
I´m sorry ´cause i ask for a place in our broken and dysfunctional family, and because i tend to defend your wife every time you fight.
I´m sorry i´m not able to lie and tell you that you´re right, like most of the time, since you are not.
I´m sorry i don´t feel proud of carrying your last name since it bothers me more than enlightens me.
I´m sorry i had not choose a career that might make me successful immediately or consider your approval to make the decision.
I´m sorry because most of the time i don´t ask for things and assume i am worthy of them.
I´m sorry for being a daughter you did not desire and being the reason why you continued to be married and unhappy.
I´m sorry because i´m weak and i cry every time because i know there´s nothing i can do to this fix things or to make you love me.
I´m sorry because i´m constantly searching for opinion, even if i don´t ask it, i just want to hear or think you´re interested in what´s in my life.
I´m sorry i can´t find someone good enough to love because i´m afraid he might defraud you and by that you would be more defraud of me.
I´m sorry again for all those things and more, and mainly i´m sorry because i´m writing these words with tears in my eyes and because i really need you, Father.

Sincerely, your daughter.

4 weddings later?

2011-08-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

Funny how through out this entire month without writing the most bizarre things happened to me. Things that made me rethink a lot of aspects in my life, things i like, things i hate. Things i wish i could change, things i can change but i don´t want to and some things that seem to be out of my reach (yes, a couple of things that throw me in the Human category).
Why did i started with "4 weddings later" as a title? It´s not only a coincidence that lately i´ve been hearing that word a LOT! Wedding, Weddings, Wed, Wedded, W-E-D-D-I-N-G and some others that seem alike.
So to honor this word that has been flooding around my surrounding, i watched "4 Weddings and a Funeral" today. Well i actually started yesterday and since i was falling asleep at the beginning i decided to watch the other half today (this is NO short story).

As any other romantic comedy i´m used to watch and snooze at....there was the typical bachelor who wander around hoping he would be punched by destiny and meet his eternal love and live happily ever after ( I don´t know but i always wonder Happily ever AFTER?? after WHAT???). And i´m pretty sure there are 40 other million people out there hoping for the same. And it´s always in our heart.
That someone whose memory we smile and whose voice we sigh to. That someone that could turn our life around or turn it apart.

I feel sad sometimes when i see people in the street staring at something as if they were debating inside. Are they thinking about that someone? Are they thinking how much this "she or he" has disappointed him/her?
How things could have been if "he or she had" made a different choice? If "he or she" had chosen her/him?

And then this awful thought comes to my mind. How sadly we state we´ve forgotten someone and we are only interested in moving on when we end a relationship or when things "don´t work out in our favor". How much we try to fool other people, friends, family. And how sad because we can´t fool ourselves.

Time has taught me that once you start loving someone, it´s pretty much impossible to stop loving him or her. It´s just not possible.

Perhaps we might forget how much affection we have for this someone or how strongly we feel about this person, or we forget how important "he or she" is in our life. We take it for granted and we start to consider it as a routine. And then we act as if the past has never happened. As if we never felt that desire to hold his hand or hug her forever. FORGET. Such a key word.

Alzheimer´s patients must understand this notion a lot. Not being able to remember that feeling or that memory. That emotion that used to start a rush in us, that necessity we created. And once time has gone by, we understand we never stopped loving, we just started to forget.

And probably it´s just for the best. Nature knows her business.

Playlist:
Adele - Someone like you
Kings of Leon - Use somebody
Michael Bublé - You don´t know me
Michael Bublé - You and I
Adele - Rolling in the deep
Michael Bublé - Home

Just words

2011-07-31T22:25:00.000-07:00

People all around the world have dedicated songs and poems to words...but they are more than words.
Words become the translator for our soul, mind and heart.
Plain words, sad words, angry or happy words.
People talk, write and scream.
Cry, mumble and whisper.

I guess communicating is just another necessity in the list. Just as breathing or eating or sleeping. Or as my psychology teacher would say...sex.

But do we know how? How can we make ourselves understandable to other people?

Can we hurt them if we don´t explain enough? Can there be any miscommunication?

There are days when i wake up and i don´t feel like talking...At All. Too bad is not only the words i speak the ones that count. Too bad is not only what i look that counts, but how i look at it. And then....they come out...just words. Plain words and nothing else.

Because we need to learn to talk again...every once in a while-

Shortstory....Part 2

2011-06-21T18:25:00.000-07:00

And things were done as said. As father and son walked to the right side of the trail everyone feared, SARCASM and SADNESS had begin to tear down a tree and had borrowed every haxe in the village.

When LOVE started to go near the beautiful picturesque houses he was shocked at such neighborhood. He even said "And to top it off these are our neighbors". HATRED turned his face at him and started to laugh, "Not every one can live a fairy tale story my dear son". LOVE only turned his face down and continue walking staring at the floor.

HAPPINESS saw both of the men walking in the town´s direction so she decided it was a polite action to greet them.

"Welcome to our small village you must be from the other side, my name is HAPPINESS" she said as she smiled underneath the sparky sun and sweet breeze.

"Hello" HATRED said as he walked by her. LOVE remained quiet but only stared at HAPPINESS, as he stopped walking. They look deeply into each other´s eyes for quite sometime. But time meant nothing at this moment. This was a moment they would remember forever, even if forever wasn´t real.

As HATRED noticed his son had stopped to look closely to the girl, he said "Hey we don´t have all day, sorry to be impolite kid but i need my boy to get some bricks, do you know where we can get some?"

It took at least 5 seconds for both of them to react until HAPPINESS answered the question but never moved her gaze from LOVE´S eyes. "Yes, most of the people here make them. You could check next street or you could find WISDOM he´ll tell you who you can buy from".

"Hear that LOVE? We have to look for them so let´s go. Thanks kid" HATRED said in a sour tone.

LOVE finally snapped from the eternal moment and began walking again, but really slow like he was being forced to stay in the same place. He reached his father who placed his palm on LOVE´S back and said "ANGER will be thanking us later....if he does", and kept on walking.

HAPPINESS remained untouched and only staring at their direction as one thought had taken over her mind.

"LOVE, what a beautiful name".

It was sunset and everyone at the ride side of the village had finished their chores. They were all going home and cooking dinner, sharing time with their kids and families, playing with their pets and taking care of the gardens. Peaceful and quiet.

On the other hand, at the left side, you could hear a lot of complaints and cursing, but also wood being hammered and bricks glued to the floor. "Hey i am tired and hungry who´s going to feed me to tonight?" asked POVERTY. A general grunt was heard in the ambiance.

LOVE approached his father to ask him permission to go home early even though they had not finished ANGER´S home and since it would take a while do it, he said he was really tired and had a headache.

HATRED said it was ok and LOVE left walking alone. He took the usual direction home since he was only a few houses away but as he was far from the construction he passed his house and continue walking.

He stood at the exact place where he meet HAPPINESS. There he look at the houses and wonder in his mind where she lived. He pictured her in her bedroom looking through the window and notice him there. Then he would ask her to come down. He was too distracted thinking about this that he didn´t notice HAPPINESS was actually sitting in her rooftop looking at the stars, but this time she was looking at him directly.

"HELLO" she said very high trying to imitate his father looking very serious.

He seem surprised to see her there and only moved his hand to say hello in a nervous kind of way.

They look again and said nothing for a while. It was getting darker and it almost seem like the moon was trying to hide. LOVE had sat on the grass and kept looking towards HAPPINESS direction but every now and then took a little peek at the stars. "Wait for me" she said, "I´m coming down".

They sat together for a long time until they held hands quietly. The moon seemed higher after an hour.

"I have to get back, my dad will notice i´m gone but i don´t wanna leave you" he said to her.

"I don´t wanna leave you either since i wasn´t with you for a long time and i´ve been waiting for you since the first time i saw the stars" she whispered.

"Let´s go away together. I´ll never leave you again, i´ll take care of you and be there for you every time you need. This is forever" he said holding her face next to his so he could stare deep into her eyes.

"Nothing is forever both you and i know that, but as long as i live you will be what fulfills me so i need to be with you" she reassured.

"We´ve waited for a long time, almost a lifetime" he said and held her hand.

They got up and started to walk beneath the immense dark blue sky with sparkly stars and a full yellow moon that now seem closer than ever, as if you could touch it with your finger.

The path they walked to was long. It was darker than any other place and was covered with trees that formed an arc in the enter. As they were about to go in, they both look into their respective direction. Neither of them seemed hesitant or nervous. LOVE held HAPPINESS hand more surely now than ever. HAPPINESS could only see her lover´s gaze and nothing more and so they began to walk until the little path had began to fade. It faded until forever.

Next morning wasn´t like the others. There was no peace and quiet in the right side of the village. There was no complaints or grunts or disagreements in the left side. But there was silence. Everyone was out looking for one of their population. Everyone kept looking even thought everyone knew where they were. Despite growing separate and living different lifestyles they belong in the same place. The path that lead to the place everyone was afraid of.

This is why we keep looking for happiness and love. Because we have experienced it and because we know it doesn´t last forever. Neither of them. We are the people in the village. We choose which side to take everyday. And we are scared of living those sides with GOD. Only true love and true happiness can lead to him. And this is why we are scared of death. Cause innocence is the only kingdom where God lays. And the only we can reach by looking for real love and happiness.

Shortstory .....Part 1

2011-06-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

Far far away from everything we know there was a very small village called Eden´s paradise. This was the most important village of a nation called Life, where only a few lived for a long long time.

The sun was bright and shinny almost everyday. Wind would blow every afternoon after the sunset but sometime s at night powerful thunderstorms and lightening would struck against the little community. Some of them murmured it was a punishment from the One above.

The houses were made practically out of wood and red bricks which were mostly handmade by the population.

The landing was surrounded by very tall trees and beautiful colorful flowers. In the season of fall they had humming birds as visitors and on winter, snow would make the pines look like frosty Christmas trees.

But the little town was divided by a little path that lead to a deep forest, called God´s trail. Nobody crossed this path since they believed for many many years, souls of the dying lived in it and they would pull you to lived with them. You had to be called by HIM in order to walk along the woods.

To the right side of the trail there was a line of traditional houses with fireplaces and white picket fences to protect the garden. In the street you could hear LAUGHTER and JOY, who were both around the same age, singing. The first one was the daughter of DELIGHT and HOPE. JOY on the other hand, lived only with his mother KINDNESS since his father PRIDE had gone living on the other side of the village.

SYMPATHY, who had always a smile in her face, helped WISDOM, a hundred year old men who was the mentor to everyone in town, crossing the street. Everyone knew each other and always helped with things when it was needed. They had a fame of being such a close knit community that no one had ever attempted to ruin this unity.

As WISDOM walked slowly home HAPPINESS, known by her sweet disposition to do good at such a short age, would held his hand and open the wooded door of her neighbor as he would give her a kiss in her front head as a thanking gesture.

HAPPINESS lived with her parents, TRUTH and COURAGE, and they taught her how to love nature, animals and butterflies. She believed in magic and would sit on her rooftop once a week to stare at stars for a long time. She would imagine how life was outside of the village. She had thought many many times how she would fall in love and leave her parents and everything she knows to be with that one person forever, all thought, she has been told several times there is no such thing as FOREVER.

After a few hours of staring at the starry sky she decided it was time to go back to her bedroom and sleep since it was late and she had a Math class with WISDOM coming early in the morning. She got up and as she would climb down her window she heard someone screaming.

"You know it was not my fault. Everyone always makes mistakes but i don´t. I´m perfect at everything i do" And as she heard the sentences she recognized the voice.

"Ohh, it´s PRIDE. Always so into himself, that´s so sad". she said and she went to bed.

Sun sparkled and announced his presence in every window of every house. Especially across God´s trail. The other side of the town was hollow. A few houses were barely standing under the branches of huge trees. Some of them were half painted and had holes in the roof and doors. Broken windows and no fences at all.

POVERTY woke everyone up every morning by screaming "Give me something i have nothing to eat today and it´s your fault i have to be begin everyday!". And maybe the people in this side of the village was not so bad since he always had somewhere to sleep and something to eat. Maybe it was MISERY´S fault since she wept everywhere she went. She would only talk about her problems and leave every time someone would give her solutions to them.

SARCASM worked on the grocery store and mocked at SADNESS for his depressed face. They were brothers who were abandoned by their parents when they were only 9 and 7years old. Each one of them had decided to take things differently.

HATRED also lived in this side of town. He had a little son called LOVE, and everyone wonder why he had called his boy like that despite everything HATRED had gone through, after seeing his wife slowly die in bed for 3 years. He was especially afraid of God´s trail since he thought he would meet his wife there but had no idea of what he would do in that scenario.

LOVE was uneasy and anxious most of the time. He grew with the feeling there was something missing something he had to find to be complete but he didn´t know what this was with exactitude. He was very fierce and had a temper that would come out in certain situations.

A few days went by just in time for winter that was about to start in a few weeks, 3 at the most. Everyone worked, walked, talked, ate, slept and began the next day just like the day before. It was almost an ordinary routine in LIFE, until the last day of the week which surprised the people in town with a devastating storm that destroyed ANGER´S house.

Next morning it was decided to make a reunion in the left side of God´s trail so they could find a solution to help ANGER. As it was expected ANGER was devastated and expressed his discouragement by yelling at someone who would come near him. At the end of the meeting it was agreed to go look for bricks and wood and rebuild ANGER´S property but in the mean time he would stay in every house of the village until his house was ready. A few of them seemed reluctant to the rule but they finally accept it.

HATRED and LOVE volunteer to go around town and get the wood as SARCASM and SADNESS would go to the right side of the trail to buy some bricks.

I want....

2011-06-07T21:27:00.000-07:00

It´s a random coincidence just now i switched channels in my TV and my favorite movie is ON! Funny thing is...the movie.

13 going on 30.

Yes, Bite me i´m a sucker for romantic comedies.

Another weird coincidence is how the plot of the movie develops by a girl who´s 13 suddenly living her life at her 30´s. And i still wonder why we can´t just enjoy being children and having no responsibilities. (Nope, i´m not complaining about the very few i have at the moment).

Why is it in life we always keep wishing for something else?

She wanted to be 30 and flirty and thriving while she has buggers in her nose and learns the choreography of Michael Jackson in Thriller. (I do love that part!)

Can´t we just be happy with what we have at the moment? I´ve got a few answers for that:

I wish i had English Breakfast tea one morning in Westminster's Abbey.
I wish i could spend an afternoon flooding in a gondola in Venice.
I wish i could take pictures of a castle in Vienna.
I wish i could sit in the outsides of the Louvre in Paris and meet my true lasting love.
I wish i could buy a Renoir painting and place it on my living room to stare at it all day.
I wish i could sky in a mountain in Australia and then jump off a cliff to the beach.
I wish i could touch the hand of El Cristo Negro in Rio de Janeiro and visit a fabella in Brasil.
I wish i lived in Buenos Aires to listen to such a charming accent in Argentina.
I wish i did not have to left foot so i could dance Cumbia in Colombia.
I wish i was friends with bears and seals so i can enjoy forests and parks with them in Canada.
I wish i could swim next to a dolphin for 3 days straight in Costa Rica.

I wish so many many many things and yet all i really want is time to make all of these wishes a reality.
So my true wish is enough lifetime to keep seeking happiness, and nothing more.

Now playing:

- Word Forward - Foo Fighters

-Rope- Foo Fighters

-I´m a terrible person - Rooney

-Dog days are over - Florence & The Machine

-Drive - Incubus

Best Friends!

2011-05-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

24 hours later of her birth after 20 years i think i´ve found my unbiological sister.

I still remember that part of one of my favorite movies, Sex and the City, in which they quoted that "sometimes your soul mate is not necessarily your lover, it could be your friend". I actually agree and state that´s a fact.

A few months of thinking and wondering (24 to be exact) have taught me that not everyone is trust-worthy.

When loneliness hits hard and the worlds seems so big and you feel lost in it, it´s great to have someone to hold on to. Now i understand that´s one of my biggest fears.

Solitude.

Not everyone is someone you can rely on whenever you need. Not everyone will bear you when you can´t hold it together. Not everyone will enjoy time with you even when it´s just time and pure silence. That is something a Best Friend will do.

It might sound a little obsessive but at the end of the day you need someone who honestly cares about what is going on in your life. Not a parent or a relative that will see things from a different perspective, not a lover that will only matter if you are hurt, but someone who can be in your shoes. Who´s able to understand what you are going through.

It´s sort of ironic i place an image of Beavis and Butthead but honestly it was one of the greatest shows where friendship was actually a BIG deal despite Beavis calling Butthead Butthole all the time. I mean who does not call his best friend like that?...In dreams i mean?

Who is capable of providing guidence and at the same time a good advice that you wont necessarily take. Someone who won´t judge you by your actions, despite them being wrong. Someone who will support you no matter what and will cry next to you if it makes you feel better.

That´s a true friend. I consider them family. And i also take the passage that dictates, "If you mess with her/him you mess with me, asshole".

I think everyone has been lied to at least once in their life, although, i do believe ONCE it´s less than the minimum.

Bad things and good experiences count. And for those i am grateful for.For each and every single one of them. They showed me who are my brothers and sisters for life.

For every tear wept and every hug given by one of my friends. For every "white" lie that comforted me. For every tiny smile full of honesty and good wishes and for every time they tell me I LOVE YOU.

Because you know what, i love them too and my life wouldn´t have the slightest meaning without them. And yes, for that i´m grateful for too.

¿Otra dimensión?

2011-05-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

Alguien alguna vez dijo que era hermoso amar pero era mucho más hermoso cuando eras amado también.

Alguna vez se preguntaron si en la historia de Romeo y Julieta solamente Julieta estuviera enamorada de Romeo? O si Romeo se hubiera enamorado perdidamente de Julieta y ella perdidamente de otro imbécil?

Que triste se escucha.

Todas esas historias se basan en el amor correspondido. Esos cuentos de hadas donde al final el príncipe espera a la princesa quien sabe realmente en su corazón que encontró al ideal y que serán felices para siempre. He ahí el problema. El para siempre no existe y todo es un CUENTO DE HADAS. O un buen guión de una pelicula romántica.

Que importa eso, si realmente queremos vivir esas fantasías. Queremos a amar a alguien para siempre y poseerlo. Llamarlo nuestro y ser suyo/a. Y nuevamente la realidad nos recuerda que eso no es posible. No pertenecemos a nadie y nada ni nadie nos pertenece. Un concepto difícil de comprender.

No suena mejor dejar que el tiempo haga sus cosas de manera misteriosa y repentinamente encontrar a tu alma gemela? ¿Dejar de esperar o de buscar cosas buenas en aquellas personas que queremos amar pero que no podemos? ¿Evitar forzar tus sentimientos por alguien a quien al final no admiras o por quien no suspiras en las noches?

Es claro que el ser humano huye de la soledad. Por ello hay miles de personas llorando en cárceles, asilos, orfanatos y otras instituciones que nos ponen erizos al escuchar sientos de historias de personas que han muerto de tristeza.

El mundo es inmenso y las posibilidades de conocer personas todos los días es aún mayor. Sorprenderse de las ideas de cada quien y de sus opiniones. Sonreír a los chistes y a las amarguras de la vida, cosas que no se pueden evitar. Lugares donde la soledad no existe. Donde la magia de los sentimientos puros y el positivismo vive. ¿Seremos capaces de dejar vivir este lugar dentro de nosotros?

La vida sigue. Innumerable cantidad de personas vive bajo esta filosofía que es un tanto cierta. Un tanto dije. Afortunadamente no he sufrido la pérdida de un familiar cercano así que mi experiencia no puede hablar en este campo. Pero como todos los demás he sufrido decepciones y tristezas, traiciones y desafortunios que me han enseñado que sigue. Sigue con cambios porque no puede seguir igual.

Y es mejor.

Te enseña una nueva perspectiva no sólo del desgraciado que te rompió el corazón, sino de todo. Y es así como las cosas deben de ser. Fluir con el espacio y el tiempo. Algo que Newton no nos enseñó, parece verdad? ¿Será esta la cuarta dimensión?

Shakira - Sale el sol

Nothing but hope

2011-05-09T22:58:00.000-07:00

Got sooo much to say tonight! And yet no words are coming out, seems like my fingers are numb or something. It must be the boredom, or what geniuses call MEDITATION.

Weird huh? I wouldn´t classify myself no where near that category. The thing is that....life is hard. Living in a poor existing country like the one i live in, it gets a little harder.

Have you ever dream about a better future? I think its natural. I mean you can´t be too pleased all the time with everything surrounding you. Even though we are condition to be in a state of change we like serenity and routine.

Despite that, i would love to change so many things. I´d start with the commitment to every single one of us. That speech that is sold to us by our politicians, "things will get better" they keep repeating whenever they can. I am sorry if i´m the one to say i´m pretty sick of it. But that´s not all their fault, i would also love to change the confidence in ourselves. Our goals and priorities should be different now. The world is changing so fast we can´t even predict where is moving to. Sadly people now are more interested in keeping a cellphone or a car that keeping their lovers affection.

What do they believe in? Is there something in their hearts?

People seem so lonely these days.

Filled with things, computers, ipods, tv´s, games and all these things that only keeps them away from reality. From facing issues and living life. From waking up early to see a unique sunrise or walk slower to catch a glimpse of the sunset. Such small details. Some memories fade away, some of them faster, and we loose them because we don´t think about them enough. We don´t smile and laugh and hug enough. We ignore other people´s feelings and needs, we are so caught up into ourselves, we don´t bother. We glare to people in a line in the bank and we seem upset when the cashier at the market doesn´t find the bar code in the box of noodles. Why? Everything in this life can end so easily. Even life.

Why not enjoy the time? Why not smile to a stranger and help a child reach for a toy? Laugh with someone at the bus and not care what everyone is thinking? This is how change begins. We might think or feel too scared to start it, but why not trying? Isn´t life a trial? We try to look for happiness and true love. We try to look for wealth and recognition. This is what it´s about. Keep trying, keep looking for the one thing you want. Never give up on hope. As the name of the album of a band i absolutely adore "There is nothing left to lose" with every fiber of my being has taught me...Nothing BUT HOPE. I know i won´t lose it, what about you?

Now Playing:

Foo Fighters - Aurora

Good Morning, Good Morning!

2011-05-02T12:30:00.000-07:00

Well it seems today i woke up in a bitchy-kinda style! Yes in fact i woke up hating the world!

In a Cruella de Vil sort of mood i decided it was about time to write something here, i mean, it´s been like a month with no updates and whole 30 days full of emotions and feelings.

Yes also my birthday which meant nothing more than getting to know your friends and making sure they deserve the title. Money came in white envelopes and a lot of family hugs and best wishes. OK! And yes I DID NOT get what i truly wanted. Sadly that´s nothing new since it´s been happening for quite a while, it must be a really PISSED-OFF Fate with me.

That´s ok i´ll survive.

Yes, i probably won´t be killed in a car accident or stabbed to death by a burgler in any recent future.

Most likely get my hopes down and heart broken. OH! Wait!....It already happened a LOT of times so??? Im still breathing! Who cares? I mean....yess i hate the world today. I hate love and all type of public displays of affection and specially stuffed animals with the shape of sheeps.

I hate people who wear designer clothes since i can afford them and by designer clothing i mean Christian Loubotin and PRADA (and Stella Mcartney, Max Azria, Marc Jacobs, Herve Ledger, Burberry, and others).

I hate people who want to have attention by playing the victim or Mother Theresa role. I hate when they pretend to love others and do chores like feed homeless or teach how to write to children of the Third World. Yes i understand the concept of being humanitary, but sadly that doesn´t even work for Angelina anymore. Even so writing poems and songs about how messed up is the world or to stop wars, please that was a few Lennons ago.

Also hate fake people who seem to be happy all the time. Like they had a stick up their asses that make them have a permanent smile and show their stupid teeth, like we want to see them. Everyone has a sucky day once i while not everything in life is happiness so you better stop smiling.

Heroes are another kind of people i feel disgusted about. Bush, Obama and some other famous people that make me wanna barf. Honestly they can´t fix problems world wide. They can´t make people love each other and believe in what´s in their hearts. They can killed thousands and thousands of people and say it was to prevent a disaster from happening, but they can´t accept they made the disaster in the first place.

Yes today i´m a bitch, but with a good reason: I´m being honest. And YES, truth hurts that´s why we have to embrace it.

Permanent state of change

2011-03-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

What is that exactly supposed to mean?
Isn´t permanent an adverd that indicates that something will stay like that for a while?
Isn´t change a PERMANENT stage of life itself?
Figured it would be interesting to put this words into a sentence. A sentence to explain the cycle of life.

It´s amazing to sit in a public place (a park, a mall, outside of school) and watch people go by...with their lives.
They date, they go out, they love and they smile.
They meet people, they cry.
They walk alone and suddenly they die.
They laugh, they kiss and they get angry.
They forget and some of them forgive
And somehow we never get to understand the concept of forever.

Things happen everyday. And it´s wonderful how those things change the course of everything in a particular person´s life. A ring, a call, an accident, an instant moment.

Life is too short. Life can be so blissful sometimes.

Life happens when you are busy making plans.

The greatest part of the plan is true happiness.

The one and only meaning of it: A smile.

You can´t never have enough wisdom

and there can´t ever be too much love.

There is so much to learn and so much to see,

time is not sufficient, to be what i want to be.

Therefore, enjoy everything you do. Love everyone around you. Forgive the ones who have hurt you and never stop smiling.

My favorite quote:

A moment, a love, a dream, aloud, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs. ♥ ♫

- Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap ♥

You are ALL i have!

2011-03-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

Like a broken record this song has been playing in my head (and also my Itunes) over and over again. I thought it was time for me to develop some type of enchanting recognition to it, since it´s actually making me feel INLOVE! How about that? Strange huh? It´s been a while since i haven´t felt that way (by "a while" i mean around 2 years) but it´s nice to feel there´s something out there to conquer and it´s not the world (Alexander The Great)... it´s more like....

Your heart....

You´re all i have ♥ - Snow Patrol

Strain this chaos, turn it into light

I've got to see you one last night

Before the lions take their share

Leave us in pieces, scattered everywhere

♥ Just give me a chance to hold on

Just give me something to hold onto

It's so clear now that you are all that I have

I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have ♫

You're cinematic, razor sharp

A welcome arrow through the heart

Under your skin feels like home ♥

Electric shocks on aching bones

Give me a chance to hold on

♫ Give me a chance to hold on

Give me a chance to hold on

Just give me something to hold onto

It's so clear now that you are all that I have

I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have ♪

It's so clear now that you are all that I have

I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have

♪ There is a darkness deep in you

A frightening magic I cling to ♥

Give me a chance to hold on

Give me a chance to hold on

Give me a chance to hold on

Just give me something to hold onto ♬

It's so clear now that you are all that I have

~~I have no fear now you are all that I have ♪~~

It's so clear now that you are all that I have

♬ I have no fear now you are all that I have

Tiempo....

2011-02-10T18:42:00.000-08:00

Hoy conocí un ladrón
Único y especial, inesperado e invisible
con todas las herramientas, preparado
lleno de experiencia y con una sed insaciable.

Muchos lo acusan de sus tristezas y fracasos
Otros reclaman su corta presencia.
Yo le pido regrese mis alegrías,
que devuelva mis sonrisas.
Que se quede con todas mis lágrimas,
desaparezca mis penas y pereza
y que a su estadía en mi vida sea eterna.

Algunos lo maldicen
Otros lo aclaman
Y aunque todos lo ignoramos,
al final le rogamos....
que nunca se vaya.

Tiempo, el único que camina a nuestro lado
el que decide cuando suceden las cosas
y se lleva recuerdos que no quiere devolvernos.

Ese que vive mas que nosotros...
El que todos compartimos...
El más sabio de nosotros...
Y por el cual todos vivimos.

Tiempo, quédate un rato más
Porfavor nunca me abandones.
No permitas que el reloj te obligue
O que los calendarios te intimiden.

Que las horas, minutos y años
sean historia en este camino.
Escucha solamente la voz dulce
de aquel que yo desconozco,
tu amigo: el destino.

Time - Chantal Kreviazuk

Inlove?

2011-01-08T21:42:00.000-08:00

Funny how most of my posts begin with words and questions....
Love is what usually inspires me to write....
But what makes you fall in love? Is it the chemistry between you and the person you like?
Let´s define LIKE!

How can you like someone? I mean yes, there are great people out there and you might meet one in a random place and get along. Of course, there are other kinds of people you just like because they are pretty or because they seem sweet. But how you like someone as much as to fall in love with him/her?

What is exactly "Fall in love"?
I can probably define it as believing in Human Perfection. Right, that does not exist. But we believe it because of...LOVE.
You can look aside people´s flaws and think everything they do and say it´s probably the most creative and special thing in this world. You usually feel dizzy most of the time when you are around him/her just and it´s sad since you can probably hate feeling dizzy but you LOVE IT. It´s like addictive....

You can also forget easily the world exists...you can forget pretty much anything but this one particular person...
That´s falling in love....
It´s smiling and being happy for no particular reason, it´s waking up in a cheer mood and surround everything with this special shine...It´s probably staying up late to talk the most bizzare things ever, and yet feel like you are in the most interesting conversation ever, That´s falling in love....

feeling like you´ve found the place where you belong, and found the one you belong with....

It´s just simply being able to imagine anything including a happy future and a happily ever after....a well deserved Happy Ending.
No tears, no suffering, no wondering, no pain.

Just ----------------------------->

Now tell me...have you ever experienced this? For how long? Is it true lasting love? Or just a glimpse of the most worderful feeling in the planet?

Now.....i keep wondering....is it really love?

P.S. I love you!

Ground-breaking changes....WHAT?

2010-12-28T21:56:00.000-08:00

It´s been quite a while since last time i flushed my feeling down this...tube.

Today a lot of things made me realize something that´s been in and out of my head for a month or so.

I mean, i finally understood everything clearly.

Bad influences like the movie "He´s just not that into you" and a certain example of an anti-gentleman (yes, sadly he´s part of my life) made me aware that maybe the dating world has changed, for like...FOREVER!

It´s seems dating is not the same than what it used to be 10 or 20 years ago, i cannot say longer since i wasn´t alive by the time before (Crucial fact!).

Thanksfully to my cousin who´s 12 years old, who spent most of a family trip texting to SEVERAL "friends" phrases like "I love you" and "Hi my name is XXX, who are you? Welcome to my life", all my doubts were solved. I mean she´s 12 and she´s sending text over text over text to 3 different KIDS who probably are sending other texts over other texts to several other KIDS...is this like...SANE?

With the contribution full of wisdom of the Neanderthal specie i think i might like, i also was able to test the theory that most guys are only after girls to sink their "teenie weenie" down their panties, translation, are only AFTER SEX!

What happen to the good old days when men used to fall in love at first sight? I mean, there are plenty beautiful women out there that i even i can fall in love (speaking in a NICE sense of the word since they are pretty beautiful) and even they are suffering for jerks who are only interested in having a "good time" and moving on to the next victim.

What happen to the cliché of buying flowers and chocolates and writting letters to express how happy they feel to be next to someone and being able to share LOVE?

Is this word going to become a myth????

Are nice, sensitive and attractive guys an extintive specie or all of them are gays?

Anyone who´s read one of my previous posts knows i´m a ~~LOVE BELIEVER~~ (term that i invented despite considering myself a LOSER in relationships) and i´m proud of it. But how much do we have to look for or bare from someone who´s probably not even worth it?

There´s also this sickening fact that i heard in "500 Days of Summer" and it´s probably the one line that won´t get out of my head voluntarily...Summer said "..And these days most marriages end in divorces" right after they were discussing if true love did exist and who knew 450 days later she had broken Tom´s heart.... sad huh?

Is it because women like her exist and they keep this stupid mentality that having a relationship is too hard? I mean if you don´t want one and want to increase the chances of being a 50 yeard-old lady with cats and no husban...Great for you but don´t spread the word and even less with men.

Maybe it´s just our femenine nature that we tend to over analyze tiny tiny facts like a sentence or missread lips....who cares....

All of this has come to a very disturbing conclusion and most likely my perception on love is very distant from reality, but hey! You can´t kill me from having my opinion....

With all of this improving technology like Blackberry´s and E-mail and chatting and all of that bullshit we missed the key ingredient of a relationship starter....the flirting.... i mean i cannot write in a text message..."Well you dress so nice you look great" (Deep looking raising left eyebrow and now looking at your lips) (Now you make the eye contact).

This artefacts that have come to make OUR life so easy, seems that has made it so much more complicated at least for me in the dating life. How can i trust a guy if a met him via Facebook? How can i say if a really like him if his Profile Pic was retouched 20 times with Photoshop? What if this guy that i really like it´s just a surreal character fromt the mind of someone really clever?

The very few things i appreciated from my last relationship with my ex was sitting in a place and staring right into his eyes and i would feel so safe and understood when he turned and did the same thing...it felt like heaven...well in those days....

Now i can´t even do that since our interaction will be measured by the use of a Instant Message Platform (MSN) and a social network (FB).

It all might sound too complicated but for me it´s the thruth. Maybe i´m one of those old souls who have this fetish with old-fashion stuff. And that´s probably why i haven´t lost hope yet...i know i will meet my true love someday. I do hope and i do believe. Love is meant for everyone and anyone, and that´s why the search will never be over.

PS. I love you B since you inspired the last part of this.

Sightings....

2010-12-01T19:50:00.000-08:00

Is everything meant to be? Do you believe in second chances?

Don´t really have the answers to the previous questions but today i revolted on the fact that we are everything that our surrounding is.

Yesterday i had a bit of a personal conversation with someone i never thought i would end up telling to.

I guess your background, including your experiences and believes make you who you are.

I´d loved to believe the apple falls FAR FAR AWAY from the tree, but unfortunately, in most of the cases it doesn´t. Just like me.

In good terms, i also think we can change pretty much anything if we really want to since we are human beings and we get vulnerable and sometimes really annoying to everyone else´s behavior or comments.

The sad thing in this is that in every aspect of your life you will act as you learned. Even in love.

Now...how willing are you to put your flaws aside to be with the one you love?

I´m not saying you are going to become Mr. Perfect as if tomorrow, but you can pull the potential of your values and what makes you attractive to others to the highest degree. I´ve heard the saying, The first impression means everything. And it´s probably right.

Lately i´m kinda scared of showing everything i am and what defines me, but a good friend told me : "If you don´t show how SPECIAL you are...you can be just ANOTHER girl". Words of wisdom. Thank you my friend.

Let the inspiration comes... y shall be waiting...

Easier?

2010-11-17T21:03:00.000-08:00

Whenever you decided to be with someone and for soooo many reasons things end up really bad there´s always Good and Bad memories...which leads to the phrase...to forgive and forget?

Obviously there´s one BIG reason why things ended in the first place and probably then you can use "Keep in neverland forever" card but do you also choose to forget everything?

Was the experience that bad to make sure that you cannot even recall the So very Important dates or the silly little things that made you fall in love in the first place? Am i so emotionally damage when i consider necessary not to keep any reminder in full sight of my previous lover?

I do believe love can last for a long time and in very limited cases...FOREVER....but is it always like that?

Are we all so LUCKY to find a Forever-lasting love once in our lifetime?

I can surely say i haven´t. Of course i keep good and great memories of my past relationship but i do believe also is time to move on. (Notice i use the expresion "I DO BELIEVE" simple: I´m a Believer)

The thing is...that i don´t share the believe of being with someone to TRY to work things out. Either you work together or you don´t. And mainly since i consider chemistry should be the #1 element in a relationship (Yes, a serious relationship).

What if there isn´t any but you really really like someone? Can that happen?

Well that has happened to me but i´m also pretty sure i didn´t have the enough courage to TRY to work things out so that proves my theory wrong.

Can you make an effort to save something that has no other alley than breaking up? It depends on how bad is the damage made or if there is any damage at all.

The bad side of a relationship is that it envolves two people always...so there´s the disavantage that someone will eventually get hurt, being that meant or not.

The other thing i learned is that you cannot EVER make sacrifices when you are try to please anyone but YOU. Yes, there´s the "If you are happy i´m happy" stupid saying but what if it isn´t like that? What if i´m miserable while you smile?

Therefore you should always be happy with who you are and what you do and NEVER rely your dreams and hopes for your golds on anyone but yourself.

As human beings we are unstable, we are really sensitve (some of us more than others) and we want to feel loved and supported, but do we really give that back to the one´s who provides this to us?

Are we really capable of using the word LOVE for someone new?

Can we be ourself around that particular person and not feel the need to hide a flaw or a part of our past because we feel ashamed or compelled to?

Are we able to compromise??? To START OVER AGAIN?

Is it Easier than before????

Para lo imposible...

2010-11-08T18:02:00.000-08:00

Life can be so tricky sometimes...so as many turn arounds and spins it gives...i choose to remember you with this song....!

Motel - Y te vas.

Be or not to be...?

2010-11-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

That´s a classic sentence for history. It sounds so philosophical...

Be or not be...want you want to be?

Sound like it relates to what you really want to be and what you really are... the question is....

Do you lie to yourself or to everybody else when you are NOT what you want to be?

Isn´t it the same?

Yes and no. Everybody does it. Not everyone has a dream life they wished for when they were teenagers or when they were growing up. In fact, not even myself. It´s so different today than what i imagined myself doing 2 or 3 years ago. But it´s not sad and it does not make what to lie to everybody else i know. Yes, sometimes i feel dissapointed or discouraged about certain things that i could easily change if i really wanted to but i don´t see the need to do it.

I love life itself and the opportunity of living since it gives me sooo many posibilities to accomplish true happiness, but what about those people? The ones who cannot bear to see someone else happy or having their dreams come true? The ones who can give you a push but in reality they want to push you so hard so you can fall? Those who can´t stand to watch pretty eyes in other´s face?

I´m very certain that most of us have felt envy of someone else´s acchievements or something they´ve accomplish that i haven´t but i don´t go around speaking behind their backs or spreading bad words on them. I consider them an inspiration and i look up to them, face it there will be ALWAYS someone better than you, more intelligent, more pretty, more social and some more....

I don´t know the answers to all of those questions i released before but unfortunately, i do know some Hipocrits. Within the circle of life there´s a high odd you will meet a few as well. I just pray for them since their life is so sad and they have to live by other´s actions. What would truly be sad is to become one of them..

so are you or are you not?

Today...

2010-10-25T22:09:00.000-07:00

Feel like writing today....
When i woke up this morning this thought took over my mind completely...

"Today, i am a human being..."
who loves and wants to be loved back...

Today, i am a human being....
who´s interested in things, slightly shallow and selfish, yes but who also desires to be interesting....

Today, i am a human being....
who can forgive mistakes and trade the pain for a daily smile...

Today, i am a human being....
who wants to hear opinions and wants to be free to provide with hers....

~~Today, i am a human being....~~
who loves to listen to people but wants to be listened and understand too....

Today, i am a human being....
who tries to see every side of things (good and bad) but who also has a side of her own....

Today, i am a human being....
who spends time trying to understand another kinds of human being but who believes she´s not so easy to understand....

Today, i am a human being....
who does not care about time but who hopes time does not forget about her...

Today, i am a human being....
who loves to have a chance at living one more day and who gives another chance at hapiness...

Today, i am a human being...

and yes....that´s all that i am and everything i will be.

Thank you Snow Patrol!

My world-My mind: Power??

2010-10-17T20:01:00.001-07:00

My world-My mind: Power??: "Everyday when we woke up, we have certain motives that drive us to do the things we do everyday (more than eating, sleeping and taking a sh..."

My world-My mind: Power??

2010-10-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

My world-My mind: Power??: "Everyday when we woke up, we have certain motives that drive us to do the things we do everyday (more than eating, sleeping and taking a sh..."

Power??

2010-10-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

Everyday when we woke up, we have certain motives that drive us to do the things we do everyday (more than eating, sleeping and taking a shower) and we usually give our best at it. Well, at least i try to.

Of course, there are a few activities that we might not enjoy performing, and sometimes we need that extra "boost" to increase our desire to work.

How about using the word "Power" to define that little boost?

What exactly does "Power" stand for?

Not in the mood to use Wikipedia, but it can be used in different contexts. You can have physical power, financial power or mind power.

Since i believe motivation comes within your inside, i bet now Mind Power is more important than any other kind.

You can trust yourself and follow your instincts whenever you are presented with a challenge, which is what i´m used to doing since i discover no one can provide you with the streght necessary to fight. (And i´m not talking about Mohammed Ali type of fight).

Have you ever stopped and thought about what´s your real motivation on life? What do you really want? Why do you do what you do? Do you enjoy it?

I seriously cannot concibe a person doing something they hate to do, since i share the thought of Do you love your life currently?

Seeking Happiness, even if it takes you a lifetime.

I can freely say i do, of course there are thing that i would change and i would make better but not everything is bad, i mean it can be worst but life´s good. So, yes i do.

How funny that is, the fearful answer "Yes i do" is used a lot in a lifetime.

A shot at survival....

2010-10-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

How funny does that sound?
Well thanks to the fact that i returned to my monday -tv series ritual i was able to expose myself to the wisdom provided by Meredith Grey of Grey´s Anatomy.

Now, do you believe you have a good chance at survival?
In this case, according to Darwin´s theory (nope, not the one that states we descend from apes, since he actually NEVER SAID THAT!) only those who are well prepared to make it!.
But how can we prepare enough and survival to what exactly?
I mean, we are going to die eventually, sooner than later if you think about it (yes, time goes by really really fast....right?).

The only thought that goes through my mind is only pointing direclty to LIFE itself, What other thing can we do besides living?

Of course, it´s up to you if you choose to live a good (or Great instead) life or a bad one. We own the decisions we make and we need to keep in mind the consequences of our actions will fall straight in our laps.
But how can we prepare for life exactly?
Is there a ~~"Life for Dummies"~~ on bookstores?
"100 tips on how to prepare for Life"? (Does that sound like a "Best Seller" huh?)

Back to the business, since i was not able to think in a routine to prepare for this shot at survival we are granted with i just came up with a series of messy thoughts placed below:

Be realistic. Yes, that includes the famous phrase: "Shit happens too!" and since it does, we can only face reality by embracing it.

Keep your inner child away for a while, and let it out for special ocasssions, translation, Be Mature. It does not help if you run away from your issues or if you simply stop caring about them. P.S. They will hunt you.....FOREVER....(Mwahahahaha!)

Appreciate good and great things of life. That being your family and friends, and little things like a starry sky or a great sunset at the beach, probably you will die without getting another moment like this. (That´s when they use the "Once in a lifetime" sentence).

Love, forgive and forget. Love sometimes will cause certain events that might end up hurting us, but it´s only of the Great Ones to forgive, and of course, forget later, since this person has proved he/she is less than perfect and it´s better not to have them around.

Yes, everyone can make mistakes but a broken heart does not cualify as a Mistake, does it?

Guess, my shots at survival have increased, and for your information, i´m not quitting of the race.
Good luck at yours!

Song of the week!

2010-09-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

Great song to play on your Ipod while you watch the rain falls...

♫ I need another story

Something to get off my chest

My life gets kinda boring

Need something that I can confess ♥

♫ Til’ all my sleeves are stained red

From all the truth that I’ve said

Come by it honestly I swear

Thought you saw me wink, no

I’ve been on the brink, so

♪Tell me what you want to hear ♪

Something that were like those years

Sick of all the insincere

So I’m gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don’t need another perfect line ♥

Don’t care if critics never jump in line

I’m gonna give all my secrets away

♫ My god, amazing how we got this far

It’s like we’re chasing all those stars

Who’s driving shiny big black cars

And everyday I see the news ♥

All the problems that we could solve

And when a situation rises

Just write it into an album

Singing straight, too cold

I don’t really like my flow, no, so ♪

Tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

Sick of all the insincere

So I’m gonna give all my secrets away ♥

This time, ~~don’t need another perfect line~~

Don’t care if critics never jump in line

I’m gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got not shame

Got no family I can blame

Just don’t let me disappear

♪ I’mma tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

Sick of all the insincere ♫

So I’m gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don’t need another perfect line

Don’t care if critics never jump in line

I’m gonna give all my secrets away

♪ So tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

Sick of all the insincere ♥

So I’m gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don’t need another perfect line

Don’t care if critics never jump in line

I’m gonna give all my secrets away

All my secrets away, All my secrets away ♫

*Secrets by One Republic

It never ends...

2010-09-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

This blogging concept has become so frequent to me, since i feel it´s helping me to express all my repressed feelings towards the random things in life instead of me screaming and probably hitting someone if something goes terribly bad, as TODAY.

Also, i don´t want to be that specific since i feel this might turn into an offense for someone, not that i consider HIM/HER innocent of his/her behavior.

As you grow up, you learn to take responsabilities since you are granted with several priviledges whenever you turn successfull on your tasks, having that said, responsability is a learning value that never stops being useful in your life.

What happens when you decide to avoid all kinds of sense involving responsability and you start to become a burdeon or dead weight over someone else such as your teammate or your co-worker?

As sad as the answer is, you need to be cut off.

Yes, this probably will not bring any benefit to your inmediate reality but at the end, it will teach you one big lesson.

Life has a defined a role for each and one of us. Every single person has tasks assigned and things they need to acomplish in order for the entire universe to work on a sort of BALANCE.

These days, i had to take care of other´s responsability on top of mine, which i consider highly over my power but not IMPOSSIBLE TO HANDLE.

But at this point, i started to wonder what will happen to this kind of people whenever they try to avoid the work that they get paid to do...and then i realized, unfortunately that´s life.

This is how it´s been working since before i was born. The only difference is that between this 2 kind of people, one will be successful and happy, the other not so much.

But which one?

Very "Catish" huh? Probably since that´s the best attitude whenever dealing with others, not to rely on anyone beside ourselves.

Muerte lamentable...

2010-09-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

El deceso de un icono de la historia salvadoreña tuvo lugar este martes 21 de Septiembre.

Tristemente, la mayor atracción del zoológico nacional de mi país falleció, Manyula.

Era una adorable elefantita de casi 60 años de edad.

Entre la ficha bibliográfica que fue abordada durante los próximos se destacaron datos como el hecho que había sido traída desde la India, a sus 5 años de edad ; aunque algunos afirman que a los 3. Su nombre real es Manjul y su alimento predilecto era la fruta.

Con el pasar de los años, esta curiosa y muy pesada diva de la entretención sana se ganó el corazón de cientos de personas que la visitaban cada año.

Como mis padres son tan especiales, por no decir otra cosa, yo nunca lo conocí pero desde el momento que escuché en las noticias que su salud decaía con mayor rapidez, me afectó ya que estos animales han sido catalogados en peligro de extinción, y ahora solo nos quedan los mareros y la pobreza para ubicarnos en el mapa mundial.

Aunque algunos creen que los animales no tienen un alma y que por ello no van al cielo, la vida me ha demostrado que son seres tan especiales como los seres humanos, tienen sentimientos, sufren como nosotros.

Incluso les afectan cosas tan triviales, con las cuales el ser humano puede vivir.

Realmente se adaptan a las condiciones y necesidades de los que se creen son sus amos, pero su capacidad de dar amor es inmensa.

Al ver la triste sepultura que fue dada a Manyula, aparte que una que otra lágrima rodó por mis mejillas, no evité sentirme impotente al ver la poca importancia que le damos a los animales, no importando su raza o condición y me recuerda amarlos todavía más pues también tienen un lugar en este mundo.

Las imágenes son extraídas de diferentes fuentes.

EDH, Twitter y 27pm. Gracias por ser tan creativos y de expresarla a un símbolo de la cultura salvadoreña.

Te extrañaremos Manyula, seguirás viviendo en los corazones y recuerdos de los que nunca te olvidaremos.

Learning by understanding...

2010-09-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

Today i had quite a day.

Or well let´s say it, quite a week.

Feeling proefficient has not been such a rutine these days. I´m pretty sure i need a job, something to be stressed about and keep working under pressure. Leaving that aside, and of course not the mention the most boring and outrageous week (evaluations, exams, assignments and some other shit) at school, today i learned something.

Something to value, knowledge for life, as my death grandpa would say.

I´ll try to be simple and hopefully it will be kinda understandable, if that´s the proper adjective.

There are all kinds of people. All of them are different from each other.

All of them have goals in life, have dreams, have visions of reality, have point of views, have friends and a family, and they have rights too.

No matter how they were raised, how they live (and that includes where or why) and yet this is so obvious, nobody seems to notice.

It´s sickening to watch people getting killed out of no reason and leave their dreams and wishes aside.

Everyone has rights.

A right to born, to breath, to dream, to cry, to sleep, to laugh, to love and mostly TO LIVE.

Today i learned, that i love life more than anything, and part of my life is my family and my friends to which, the majority of them i also consider family.

I love life because i can do so many things, and the possibilities are inmense in this little period of time i have been granted in this world.

I love life because i can have everything and nothing, and both of them are fine at the same time.

I love life because i can open my eyes and just realize everything i have is more than enough to be happy and die, to keep on loving life.

Life...

2010-09-14T22:39:00.000-07:00

(This kinda looks to me like a Tree of Knowledge, and i like it!)

So many of us we tend to believe everything that happens to us are things that we can change or even avoid, when the reality is that its our destiny or fade as its known generally.

I have a certain philosophy in which i surely believe everything is ment to be. Being that good or bad. Now i wonder, do i really believe that when bad things, such as not getting the attention from the guy that i want or getting a bad grade when i spent 5 hours reading the same paragraph?

I mean, us human being we are such a vulnerable and sensitive creatures, some so much more than others, but i usually take a toll on things and they affect me deep down inside.

So in this case, are those things ment to be for me even when they might cause some sort of depression sense and sad emotions?

Firmly i say, they are.

Whoever first said the mistakes you make teach you not to repeat them again, of course keep in mind that theory is only a reliable thruth and we tend to be a little stubborn and uptight, it was obvious a genious, or a very very VERY mature and intelligent person.

The thing is that, at the end of the day, once you start making your own personal research and you decide to have a one-on-one conversation with your concience, you realize that maybe not every little thing in the day was bad and that´s when you start smiling naturally without any sense of guilt or regret, and you understand:
Every day there´s always a new lesson to be
learned!

Inocence!

2010-09-11T20:48:00.000-07:00

Spent around 5 hours watching tiny pieces of animation walk around and make non-sense actions allowed my face to relax and to my mouth, take the shape of a gigantic smile. Not to mention the moments that blissfully took me to the very root of my memories as a little girl.
Today thankfully to Disney XD Channel i silently sat in front of my TV as if it were an assigment from school, and so my attention never drifted from the flat screen.

I considered myself part of the 1% of people around the world that had never seen the movie

Toy Story. Yes i know it sounds SAD!.

I like animated movies, i loooooove cartoons, but this movie never received my particular interest because i thought it was simply too childish.

I´m just going to leave this idea in the air for a while, just as i finish telling the entire schedule for "welcome to eating with your hands dirty" section of today.

Right after the movie, the creative side of Disney emerged again. This time with a series of short stories that definitely pull out tons of laughter. I mean, they were really good

(I was wishing in my memory to someday i can create something like that...SOMEDAY!!!! I mean i believe in miracles!).
Back on track, after i fight to pull myself away from the TV, i returned later on the day to check "Fantasia 2000", a couple of animated stories with background music from very well known clasical performers, you know Mozart and Stravinsky, people like them. It reminded me one of the many mentours i´ve had over my years as a student.

Ok, now it´s time to take the idea that i left flying in the cyberspace a few lines above.

Earlier this week i heard the phrase :"When we stop playing we stop being creative" and i thought OMFG! She´s so damn right (It was a women of course, She was Brilliant!).

And i guess, that´s the key, i mean. It´s so true. Your imagination is what pushes the boundary to what you can and

CAN´T DO. I believe it has a lot to do with suggestion, if you believe in your ideas despite them being completely non-sense and stupid (such as mine or the majority of them at least) then you can be totally sure you can complete this ideas into a reality.

Well, now i have decided to take life as a baby. I´m not saying i´m gonna be inmmature or careless, but not to take things so seriously, there are good and GREAT Sides of everything. Even those things you believe are only ment for really really bad people, like those who burry money to disguise it. (To me it sounded funny TBH!)
And this mentality goes ON in my head from this point on....and so you can get inspired i´m going to leave a piece of what i loved from this day and probably try to download Toy Story 2 and 3 !

Out of everything´s bad!

2010-09-07T17:39:00.000-07:00

Today has ment a new page in my country´s history. Its a page full of sadness and worries. The situation is ONLY getting worse, besides being on the top of the list of poverty and negative development (if there is such thing!) everyone is stressed and scared of dying.
Yet again, today ment something else for me. Today i realized im growing up. I´m actually following the steps to become who i want to be. Realistically, i am who i want to be.

I think everything helps when you start to grow up, to be mature, to be outside of yourself and think about all that amazing people surrounding you. I mean, it´s not like you are alone in this journey.

Every single experience has helped me become who i am today, and specially who i´m trying to be.

Day by day, we make mistakes, we laugh, we cry, we get dissapointed of people who we have given our trust or believed in. Sadly, that´s part of life. Everyone has had a broken heart, unfortunately, even myself.

Fights, complaints,depression. Everyone goes through it. The majority survives to these eventful stages of life.

Now i´m pretty sure there´s only one thing that can push us ahead. That will make us wake up early to get ready to go to work, to school and give our best. That will make us ignore everyone else´s mistakes, and even our own to only concentrate on what we´ve learned from the bad experience.

That will make us look at the sky and smile...Just like i did this afternoon, when i got this feeling that i got when i was 10 looking at the shapes of the clouds in my backyard. (Sniff sniff...)
It´s indeed, a Wonderful World.!

Thanks James Morrison!

Coming up!

2010-08-20T20:50:00.001-07:00

Esta semana....se viene la violación...la aniquilación....la eutanasia....el homicidio....el sacrificio....el ritual....y el temible acontecimiento de

LA SEMANA DE PARCIALES

Por lo que lo más seguro no habrán publicaciones en los próximos 7 días....

Rezen por mi!

Song of the week!

2010-08-13T21:28:00.000-07:00

♪ I am in love,

With what we are,

Not what we should be.

And I am,

I am starstruck.

With every part,

Of this whole story.

So if it's just tonight,

The animal inside,

Let it live and die.

Like it's the end of time,

Like everything inside,

Let it live and die.

This is our last chance,

Give me your hands.

'Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light.

The night is fading, heart is racing.

Now just come and love me like we're gonna die. ♥

Oh.

I'm not asleep, I'm up for the fight

Into the magic.

And I don't, want the concrete.

I am alive.

Comes with the tragic.

So if it's just tonight,

The animal inside,

Let it live and die.

This is our last chance, Give me your hands.

'Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light.

The night is fading, heart is racing.

Now just come and love me like we're gonna die. ♥

Oh.

Da da da da da da.

Oh.

This is our last chance, Give me your hands.

'Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light.

The night is fading, heart is racing.

Now just come and love me like we're gonna die. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. ♫

Ke$ha - Animal

Lesson Learned!

2010-08-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

Don´t keep your HEART under your sleeve!

Enough is enough?

2010-08-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Título en inglés...pero solo eso. Sí aparte que tengo que hacer un super ensayo para una materia asquerosa de la universidad (Sin mencionar que el catedrático no me motiva ni tan siquiera a levantarme temprano para oirlo hablar PURA PAJA!!).

Y se acabaron las vacaciones...que no tuve y aparentemente no voy a tener tampoco! Sí parece que eso de tener un trabajo mas allá de mantenerte (hablando en términos financieros) te desgasta hablando en términos de VIDA!

En otra materia que tampoco me muero por estudiar (Análisis Económico) vi un concepto que si mal no recuerdo era el "COSTO DE OPORTUNIDAD" y que en buen salvadoreño era dejar de hacer una cosa por hacer otra que a fin d cuentas te va a rendir más que la primera. Ahora planteo este concepto a mi vida? (Y DECIAN QUE NO NACEN SABIOS TODOS LOS DIAS! PUES YO NACI UN 17 DE ABRIL!!!)

Que tal si después de estos 365 días invertidos idiotamente en trabajar para un gringo mas ignorante que yo y dejarle dinero para invitar a una fila de prostitutas high-class lo hubiera invertido como una estudiante normal de 18 años que recién comienza la universidad, y pasa sus tardes viendo televisión y "estudiando"? Noo no creo hasta sueño me dió escribirlo.

Ahora la otra cara de la moneda.

Qué tal si en ese mismo período de tiempo hubiera tomado una de las tantas oportunidades que se me presentaron y ostentar a un puesto con mayor "dignidad" que un Agente de Servicio al Cliente de 4 horas? Sí si ahora yo fuera supervisora o parte de Recursos Humanos...bueno reflexionando...veo ese concepto de costo de oportunidad otra vez.

Esto implicaría que quien sabe si hubiera aprobado las 15 materias que hasta ahora ya tengo ganadas y no con notas "logradas por el milagro de Dios".

Aparte de todos los sacrificios que esto hubiese implicado...sigue sin arrepentirme más allá del hecho que son unos ladrones que nisiquiera pagan lo que la ley exige.

Definitivamente me siento como cuando andas con alguien que al final solo te deja enojos y dolores de cabeza( Y quien sabe si en el futuro te puede dar un aneurisma por su culpa!!), pero conocí a grandes personas que han cambiado mi vida, viví experiencias que nunca pensé que tendría y ahora veo que es el momento adecuado para dejar lo viejo y encontrar algo nuevo, y dicen que cada cosa tiene su tiempo, creo que el tiempo para esta se acabó.

Si hay algún ritual para llamar nuevas oportunidades, espero alguien me lo aconseje pronto pues si algo me enseñó este sobre esfuerzo es que "El tiempo perdido hasta los santos lo lloran!".

Songs playing:

All by Coldplay

-The Escapist

-Life in Technicolor

-Talk

-Lovers in Japan

-Strawberry Swing

-Viva La Vida

True Love!

2010-07-31T21:49:00.000-07:00

Como si se me hubiese olvidado...cosa que es imposible!

FELIZ DIA DEL PERIODISTA!

Profesión que amo con todo mi ser y que espero en 4 años tener el honor de denominarme con el mismo nombre! Trabajo que guarda todas mis ilusiones, anhelos y sueños!

El único camino a la felicidad es hacer lo que de verdad te hace feliz: Comunicar! Significa el mundo y que en mi vida lo es todo!

P.D. Periodista del año: Ding Ding Ding...Tenemos un empate.

Kalena de Velado VS. David Escobar Galindo.

Gracias La Prensa Gráfica, otro gran ejemplo a seguir!

Confusión total!

2010-07-31T20:26:00.000-07:00

Luego de aproximadamente 1 año de no escribir en español, principalmente porque me gusta más en inglés y segundo porque tengo que hacerlo con buena ortografía ( y como ya todos sabemos en inglés no hay tildes! AMÉN POR ESO!) consideré que los cambios son necesarios y no caen mal de vez en cuando. Claro si son muy seguidos es probable que piensen que tengo algun síndrome de bipolaridad y que necesito ayuda psicológica urgente (quien diría verdad?) (SI ESTA ES LA PARTE DONDE SE RÍEN! :))

Comenzaré por citar que la universidad empezó otra vez y la verdad que es algo que si necesitaba, y si por triste que suene, extrañaba a mis amigos y tener algo con que distraerme del asqueroso trabajo (del cual voy a hablar mas adelante!). Se supone que este ciclo viene mas "yuca" como dicen acá, la verdad no estoy tan asustada, ya me probé a mi misma y me di cuenta que soy capaz de mucho más de lo que creí que podía. Así que dispuesta a enfrentar nuevos retos, Y SÍ si eso incluye Lic. Genial Reloaded y folletos de 800 páginas acerca de los fósiles en Metapán. Sin mayores comentarios en eso! Ya mencioné que extrañaba a mis 3 fantásticos? Bueno la noticia es que esta vez se nos unen un par d no tan fantásticos pero que espero resulten ser sorpresivamente "FANTÁSTICOS" por no decir algo más fantástico!

Parte 2: "LA ESCLAVA DE LA EMPRESA PRIVADA DEL RUBRO DE SERVICIO AL CLIENTE".
Ok! Esa oración lo dice todo. No puedo dejar de expresar mi mayor decepción del presente año al darme cuenta que a la empresa a la cual le he dado mi esfuerzo y tiempo nisiquiera aprecia el gesto y se atrevan a negarme mis vacaciones tan bien merecidas. Más allá del hecho que es totalmente ilegal e injusto, es indignante y totalmente repulsivo seguir botando mis energías y mi positivismo en algo y alguien que simplemente no lo aprecia. Llegué a preguntarme a mi misma si ese trabajo estaba dando fruto más alla de ser remunerado hablando en términos económicos y que he hecho muy buenos amigos y que es lo que más extrañaría si llegase a renunciar. Esa rutina de la tarde que me ha acompañado por los pasados 365 días que realmente no quiero abandonar pero esto es mucho más de lo que mi dignidad puede soportar.

Estoy en esos momentos donde te sentás a evaluar que vale más la pena, lejos de la experiencia que te deja tu primer trabajo, se vale que pisoteen mis derechos y que yo siga de esclava produciéndoles dinero mientras espero lo que debieron darme cuando lo necesitaba? Creo que necesito horas de reflexión y de paz! Momentos de la vida que te enseñan y te ayudan a crecer! Si alguien dijo que la vida no era fácil...sea quien sea...SOS TODO UN SABIO QUE TRABAJABA EN UN CALL CENTER! jajajaja

Loneliness!

2010-07-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

With a very simple act today i started thinking about loneliness itself.

Does it mean we are meant to be with someone else? Besides the sadly and very thrilled discussion of finding your other half in this planet... can´t we be just with our selfs?

Is it necessary to have someone around to help you pick up the pieces caused by one of your errors? Can we do that by our selves? I have started to believe everything is relative, beyond existence and reality, everything has a million points of views and thousands of reason to justify those points of view.

Is life so simple that we only have to pick one person to help us go through roughness and happiness? If that so, why do we have such a hard time trying to find that person?

I completely understand it´s a proven theory we need each other to survive, i mean what it would be of myself without people behind the Kellog´s Industry? Most likely i´d be dying of starvation or overweight...either way i´m walking in circles here! Back to business!

Can we have one special person for each step we take in life? Will our steps be defined for the presence of this very unique source of support? So far i´ve experienced only one serious relationship of which i´m not ashamed of but don´t talk about it much. Having that said, i believe you have to FIRST learn to be with yourself and love yourself with all of your flaws and qualities, at the end of the day is what makes you YOU! Once this has come altogether you will be able to embrace and accept someone else to walk next to you and help you jump those obstacles you believe will stop your way. It does not mean he/she will take you by the hand and guide through his/her path, it means you have to discover together what path is convenient for the both of you.

God! I´m getting so OLD aren´t i??? Hopefully i wont end up eating frozen dinners and seating in front of the TV with my cat and her box of sand at my 40´s!

Paths!

2010-07-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

When i woke up today...i realized everyone has a path to follow.

Of what i´m not completely sure is if i´m following the correct one. And if so, how do you know it´s the one made strictly for you? I mean, can you follow someone else´s steps? Or is that just trying to confuse ourselves believing it´s OK to have a role model?

Guess it´s a part of life to discover if what you are doing at the moment is THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOU...but as i see it what if it isn´t? Is it too late to cross boundaries somewhere else? Or to suddenly move forward to another direction? Is that how it works for LOVE as well? Because if it is....God forbids IM LOST!

You know that feeling you wish you hadn´t thrown the manual of your cellphone or camera because it´s stuck now??? Well im definitely not feeling it at the moment...but i have experienced that before and it does not mean it wont happen again. I guess its just a matter of TRUST in yourself, your actions and mainly your choices.

But sometimes its so much more convenient to throw the fault to someone else whenever you are not happy with what you are going through at the moment, but then again the only responsible for your own happiness and success is at the end of the day (and as i believe IN LIFE!) YOURSELF!

Shocker!

2010-06-21T22:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday very late at night a big update was surrounding our local network! I realized around 11 pm by Twitter when i read a Tweet stating A bus was caught on fire with the passengers on it...obviously i was not able to believe it and i had to watch a local news program and in fact....for my worst shock IT WAS TRUE!

14 lives were taken without any mercy...besides another pile of people who´s live have been ruined by such tragedy, not to mention the families involved to those who had died and were injured.

Under my shock i started thinking our current situation really SUCKS! I mean we have 14 murders daily...yep DAILY! And yet we still have stupid people hiding behind the explanation that they are doing the proper research! And then there are those other stupid people thinking about the human rights and the stupid and nonsense constitution!.
Yes i wonder how many times this nasty shade of society (but i would not want to mention them as part of them but i cant find other adjectives that don´t involve swearing to define them! SERIOUSLY CANT!) will think of the constitution? And how many times this non-logical people who create the laws and rule the country would consider them like PEOPLE WHO DESERV TO BE TREATED DECENTLY!
Ok lets make a pause here! For one reason if they are acting like animals i dont believe it should be fair for us to let them do what they want with us (That includes killing people like playing Mortal Combat or setting busses on fire or stealing money or even threatening people to death!) and yet we allow this.
In a period of 24-48 hours according to the information i´ve read we´ve lost around 39 human souls! 39!!!!
I´ve heard so many different opinions and cannot make a very defined one of my own! I mean someone is pushing for the death penalty but i started thinking who are we to take someone´s life because he/she took someone elses?
I mean i do not justify what he did is right but how far can we punish him/her?

Im no one to judge! Who are you?

Photo: http://www.cronicaviva.com.pe/content/view/118297/31/

FriEndS :)

2010-06-16T22:15:00.000-07:00

You make my life full of joy.... you make my life filled with laughter!....

Unable to define you in a bunch of words...beside the very shifting mood swings and the odd amount of sentences i hear everyday...the dedication and focus you place on every detail of things the sometimes very CREEPY observation flaw that may define you bring only the best character that you can represent!

Your great common sense and sometimes bad use of logical gives me the worst headaches ever given in history of human being...despite all of that agreements and discussions are the greatest thing to share with this lawyer looking fighter for a great life!

You bring all the songs that i have never heard in my entire life and bring the girly girl side of things to my randomness in the everyday living....

THANK YOU TO ONE OF THIS AMAZING PEOPLE THAT IM SO LUCKY TO CALL MY FRIENDS :D
YOU OBVIOUSLY SHARE A BIG PART OF MY HEART AND TRUE FRIENDSHIP!

365 days later...!

2010-06-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

Just by the simple fact that i had forgottend i had a blog and maybe it would be good to add that i did not had the time on my hands to keep updating it...i had left it on my old memories...
Well. Anyhow, here i am again AND most likely im going to use it to describe my feelings every now and then but i guess it works like a journal or a personal diary...only if someone really interested in me would start stalking me and reading every single entry...even though none of them have any sense...

Therefore...im bound to express my really deep feelings besides exposing my most random ideas...yes this is my world and its my right to place it out loud.
Its good to be back where i used to be a year ago....pretty much unemployed and bored with my very ordinary life...now im EMPLOYED but still a bit bored despite being a LOT more tired than last year. Guess working is a serious matter!

So hard to talk about it...going to try!

2009-07-05T20:03:00.001-07:00

So the point of having a blog is to let everyone know how are you feeling or at least to be able to communicate without the obligation of boring someone to death with your issues! So thats what i am about to...right now i feel like i have my heart on my sleeve to say the least, and never thought possible to feel broken and hurt from inside...well who knew? I guess breakups arent an easy thing to deal with and you have to be mature enough to approach things as they are! In order to do that exact thing you have to put yourself in an analysis process, and to look at situation from an external angle beside yourself. And so i did as well, and im not very proud of myself right at this point (more like totally dissapointed!) but i had to do it!

I believe that sometimes a few heartracking experiences are neccesary to grow up, and it doesnt really matter if it hurts...because at the end you are so glad that you did and so proud of yourself for put it up! Thinking you are strong enough to bear it, to bear anything hard in the future, and that´s exactly how i used to feel...until....yesterday!

And now i have to stand up, because i fell and hit myself pretty hard! and it hurts so much to move but i know i cant stay there forever! and the hand that was supposed to be reaching for me for support is not there anymore! So sourly to say it...i have to be alone for a while! In order to be able to stand alone over and over again...that way i can be ready to be with you again !

Cant wait! :)

2009-07-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

OMG! Today, well last night, i got a great news! The How to be DVD has been released! Which means i can finally finally watch Robert Pattinson pretending to be a twenty something year old dude frustrated, and struggling with being better at his job, music writer, even though he really sucks. Art (characters name) needs to find a balance between being mature, a girlfriend, family, himself and career!

I CANT WAIT!

P.S. I love you Robert Pattinson!

Happy 1st of July Canada!

2009-07-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Canadian Day everyone!

I love your:
-Mapple Honey
-Mapple Leaves
-Hockey
-Weather
-Polar Bears and Wolves
-Name
-Snow
-Streets
-And my relatives living there!

Pelis de la semana! :) enjoy!

2009-07-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

Ok! estuve viendo muchas (pero muchas!!!) peliculas esta semana de las cuales, quisiera resaltar las mejores:

°Sense and Sensibility : Basada en la novela de Jane Austen, del mismo nombre, cuenta una historia de amor establecida en la primera mitad del Siglo XIX (si no me equivoco) y que cuenta con protagonistas como Kate Winslet y Hugh Grant.

° Closer: Muy buena pelicula, nunca la verdad habia terminado de verla e incluso me tome el lujo de preguntar el titulo en Twitter a media pelicula, trata de las relaciones que existen entre cuatro individuous y como estas relaciones se mezclan entre si. Se destacan la actuacion de la Magistral Julia Roberts, Jude Law y Natalie Portman. Ahhhh y Clive Owen!

°The Devil wears Prada: Otra obra de del 7mo. Arte, con Anne Hathaway y Emilie Blunt and super fashion Meryl Streep. La historia se basa, claramente, en el actual mundo de la moda y de los valores de buena niña que la niña Hathaway representa siempre en todos sus hit movies!

°Cruel Intentions: De esta peli no hay mas nada que decir. No existe persona en el planeta que no la haya visto y que no crea que es lo mas ingenioso que ha visto. Ryan Philippe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Selma Blair y Reese Witherspoon la protagonizan! Y hacen muy buenos papeles con el excelente guion proporcionado.

°The House Bunny: Matadisima de la risa! Anna Faris, la protagonista, y las señoritas de la fraternidad ZETA, Rummer Willis y Katharine Mcphee, entre otras, se encargan de hacer de la vida de una ex-playboy muy interesante y ella se encarga de ....conseguirles una!

Si! Esas son las mas relevantes de mi semana :) Quitenme mi plasma please! hahahaha

Today!....

2009-07-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

For you who´s heart has been shattered to many times you cant remember when was the last one, for you who´s illusions had been destroyed and everytime you can find the strengh from somewhere inside of you to gather a new one, for you, caught in the middle of a triangle formed by too deep feelings for someone and cant help to be hurt when you see how hard its to survive everyday, without falling apart in the street and cry and sob out loud until theres no desire to be awake!

Today, i woke up feeling sore spots all over my body, especially my bruised broken and tiny heart. Yes to be litteral, i felt wounded, i felt violated and completly disappointed of myself for not being able to let everybody know how i feel about them! Not to let my current Bf know, that he´s making my life a little bit to hard and that maybe its time to move on and remember him as my past, i havent told my friend whos name i want to keep silent, that i still love her indeed, but things and situations havent aloud me to try to contact her and talk things through , or maybe its just my indulgent pride and how not HUMBLE i am.

Its funny how strange and outside (of yourself) experiences allow you to check your own and they took toll on you! I wonder sometimes how selfish and uninteresting i may appear, just only for the fact that im concentrating on myself all the time, just how deep a situation can hit me.
And so today, i sit here and let my fingers trail what my half working brain and hurt heart are trying to scream out loud! There is always reality to analize, in order to forget frustration and dispair, but what actually makes the point of it if i keep abandon my reality to make others reality mine? It just makes me feel how not ready i am to love someone the way they deservs, but how much love and care i have, to give without limitation. Its like a coin, with double side faces, a white one, ready and prepared for everything, expecting the future and dreaming in the present, then i turn around and all you can see is black, shallow, hurt, frustrated and completly lost. Is that what i am?

.....Coffee BLACK and egg WHITE....

Playlist:
-Kings of Leon - Closer
-Coldplay - Violet Hill
-Counting Crows - Colorblind
-Damien Rice - The Blowers Daughter
-Kings of Leon - Notion
-Sam Bradley - Too far gone
-Coldplay - Fix me

OMG!

2009-06-26T17:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a very sad day! Two Stars (major ones) have left the stage of this life to take a new one! Farrah Fawcett at the age of 62 died around 9:30 am, after 3 years of battleing Anal Cancer! A few hours later, reports let us know around the world iconic POP KING Michael Jackson, 50, has past away as well after having a Hearth complication! Both of these stars will be eternally missed and remembered! An angel of acting and another of music! God felt like caressing Farrah´s golden locks and watching up close Michael´s stunning moves! Shall them rest in peace!

So IN this season!

2009-06-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

Not only for trendy girls but for everyone this new hairstyle is the new (and not so new)

proposal to be in with the season of beach, sun and tanned skin :)! And lately we are seeing

some big star gals showing up to red carpets and high fashion events looking GOOD with this

easy-making hair Braid :)! Follow this trend this summer xD and for my country "Winter".

It doesnt matter how you wear it, JUST WEAR IT

Blanco!

2009-06-24T22:13:00.000-07:00

Blanco acercame tu pantalon Blanco regalame tus panties! como se mueve en sus pantalones blancos se mueve se mueve se mueve con mambo! ..............................

No definitivamente no es la pegajosa cancion de Pitbull "Blanco" que se aprecia en la ultima pelicula de Fast & Furious (Sii yo se! con el guapisimo de Vin Diesel!) pero mejor dicho, son los zapatos de la marca BLANCO que ahora presento, causando en mi unicamente la mas tentadora y seductiva ENVIDIA!

YO LOS QUIERO!

What i want!

2009-06-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

What a hell!! Im bored and Hungy! Just wanted to let you know! Y kiero unooo ( o todos) vestidos de la coleccion de MARCHESA CRUCERO 2010! Gracias a Trendencias por el update!

TRANSFORMERS 2 REVENGE OF THE FALLEN!

2009-06-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

So tonight the world premiere of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is taking place well....WORLD WIDE! The movie promises new fiction and action scenes where Autobots and Decepticons fight a war in the middle of New York. Sam and Mikaela (Yes! Shia LaBeouf and the smoking HOT Megan Fox) reunite trying to save the world after having a long distance relationship when Sam goes off to college, and Ms. Fox wastes her time serving as a mechanic.

According to my sources, the movie is great so go ahead and see it. Later on i will rate my review! :)

Get to know me first :)!

2009-06-23T21:56:00.000-07:00

Name: Catherine M.

Age: 18 y.O.

Location: S. Salvador, El Salvador

Description: Im best known as a girl whos interests go from Stephenie Meyer(Twilight Saga) books to Michael Bay´s (Transformers) and Tim Burton´s (Corpes Bride) movies.
I like pop music, including Britney but i listen to Linkin Park as well.! I love cookie dough ice cream and Sara Lee´s Frozen Desserts, ColdPizza and Fried Chicken, and a predilection for Ice Tea.